I'm tired
I'm tired of trying to fit in
The hardest part of trying to fit in is not knowing why.
WHY?!? Why do I want to even try?
Because I wasn't ready to accept the fact that nobody likes me.
And why does nobody like me?
Well I don't know, but I have 4 suggestions to why they don't like me
1.) I'm very awkward to talk to, every time they talk to me, I just run out of words to say, and I don't think anyone likes that...
2.) they met my mother before meeting me, you see, as people meet your parents, they automatically think that you act like them and they would think that I have my parent's personality, but I have a WHOLE different personality, they just didn't make the time to get to know me...no one does
3.) I'm on the thick side, and not many people like a fat friend, why on earth don't you like a fat friend? Is it embarrassing?well, all it made me feel was think that I was fatter than I really am
And last but not least
4.) I'm no use to them...I have no idea WHY I want to help them do something when I ALWAYS know that they're most likely not planning to do the same for me? Why do I trust people so much? What is wrong with me?
Well, 2 years ago, I wouldn't have face the fact, but let's face it...no one likes me or wants to be my friend because they NEVER have the time to WANT to know me. I will never meet a person who feels like they NEED to know me more than they want to, EVERYWHERE I GO, people are just acting like they want to know me, well it ain't acting anymore, it's like they have to...i'm not forcing anyone but WHY? I ask myself everyday WHY?
I just get depressed, EVERYDAY, for no reason at all and I don't know how to fix it, and when people asks me questions and I stutter and talking with a blanked out mind, they just walk away, when do I get to find a person who is willing to stay and try to ask the same question over and over again until I answer it right? Why do they walk away? Am I annoying, why do they talk to me only when they need something from me, they don't want to know me, the only reasons people talk to me is because they're trying to make another person become their friend, trying to pretend to care but really just wants to know your secrets so that they can tell everyone else, trying to make me spy on other people, and the next thing you know, they just WALK AWAY, and I keep asking myself, WHY DO I PUT UP WITH IT? Why do I do what they ask? I just do what they asked, they "show" their appreciation and just throws me out, forget me, never talk to me,couldn't care less and all until they want something again....
I am SICK AND TIRED of this, I just want it to end RIGHT NOW, I just want a friend, and I don't even HAVE ONE. The one you talk to about everything, the one that you'll cry if they ever leave you, the one that you will never forget...
I don't even think that I ever had an actual decent friend to call my ACTUAL best friend
I think of this everyday and I have NOBODY to talk to about this, not even my parents, everyone seems to hate listening to my problems, so I stopped trying basically ANYTHING.
This is Krystal, reporting my problems to this blog, have fun with life, the worse that can happen to you is going to hell.
