I'm tired
I'm tired of trying to fit in
The hardest part of trying to fit in is not knowing why.
WHY?!? Why do I want to even try?
Because I wasn't ready to accept the fact that nobody likes me.
And why does nobody like me?
Well I don't know, but I have 4 suggestions to why they don't like me
1.) I'm very awkward to talk to, every time they talk to me, I just run out of words to say, and I don't think anyone likes that...
2.) they met my mother before meeting me, you see, as people meet your parents, they automatically think that you act like them and they would think that I have my parent's personality, but I have a WHOLE different personality, they just didn't make the time to get to know me...no one does
3.) I'm on the thick side, and not many people like a fat friend, why on earth don't you like a fat friend? Is it embarrassing?well, all it made me feel was think that I was fatter than I really am
And last but not least
4.) I'm no use to them...I have no idea WHY I want to help them do something when I ALWAYS know that they're most likely not planning to do the same for me? Why do I trust people so much? What is wrong with me?
Well, 2 years ago, I wouldn't have face the fact, but let's face it...no one likes me or wants to be my friend because they NEVER have the time to WANT to know me. I will never meet a person who feels like they NEED to know me more than they want to, EVERYWHERE I GO, people are just acting like they want to know me, well it ain't acting anymore, it's like they have to...i'm not forcing anyone but WHY? I ask myself everyday WHY?
I just get depressed, EVERYDAY, for no reason at all and I don't know how to fix it, and when people asks me questions and I stutter and talking with a blanked out mind, they just walk away, when do I get to find a person who is willing to stay and try to ask the same question over and over again until I answer it right? Why do they walk away? Am I annoying, why do they talk to me only when they need something from me, they don't want to know me, the only reasons people talk to me is because they're trying to make another person become their friend, trying to pretend to care but really just wants to know your secrets so that they can tell everyone else, trying to make me spy on other people, and the next thing you know, they just WALK AWAY, and I keep asking myself, WHY DO I PUT UP WITH IT? Why do I do what they ask? I just do what they asked, they "show" their appreciation and just throws me out, forget me, never talk to me,couldn't care less and all until they want something again....
I am SICK AND TIRED of this, I just want it to end RIGHT NOW, I just want a friend, and I don't even HAVE ONE. The one you talk to about everything, the one that you'll cry if they ever leave you, the one that you will never forget...
I don't even think that I ever had an actual decent friend to call my ACTUAL best friend
I think of this everyday and I have NOBODY to talk to about this, not even my parents, everyone seems to hate listening to my problems, so I stopped trying basically ANYTHING.
This is Krystal, reporting my problems to this blog, have fun with life, the worse that can happen to you is going to hell.
Wednesday 18 April 2012
Monday 30 January 2012
Jesus at His best
Yesterday night, while I was trying to sleep, it was 3:30AM and it was pouring rain.
I currently sleep in the living room, still waiting for my room to be done.
SUDDENLY, I heard a door open, and it sounded like my Parent's bedroom's door, but I looked up to see if anyone opened the door, no one was there. After 5 minutes, the same sound again, and this time, there was footsteps...
The sound was getting closer and closer to where I was sleeping and it was TERRIFYING!! I was hiding underneath my blanket with my stuffed animal, Patrick, and I heard the footsteps getting softer as if it went back to my Parent's room, then I looked up again, and still NOTHING!!
The same sound repeated for at least 15 minutes, getting closer to me and going back to my parent's door.
As it got closer to me for the last 5 minutes, I sent a prayer to Jesus to Protect and shield me from harm and evil spirits. I said in my heart:"get out of this house RIGHT NOW, in Jesus Name, Amen" I repeated myself for 5 minutes and after that, the footsteps stopped and honestly, it might not be to you, but to me, That was what I called Jesus at His best, performing miracles and protecting me.
When I prayed, I felt so calm, my heart went from beating rapidly to slowing down. I felt at ease that nothing would harm me as long as I had Jesus by my side and in my heart.
Thank You Jesus, I Love You :) Ever since my first day at church when I was 8 and always will :)
I currently sleep in the living room, still waiting for my room to be done.
SUDDENLY, I heard a door open, and it sounded like my Parent's bedroom's door, but I looked up to see if anyone opened the door, no one was there. After 5 minutes, the same sound again, and this time, there was footsteps...
The sound was getting closer and closer to where I was sleeping and it was TERRIFYING!! I was hiding underneath my blanket with my stuffed animal, Patrick, and I heard the footsteps getting softer as if it went back to my Parent's room, then I looked up again, and still NOTHING!!
The same sound repeated for at least 15 minutes, getting closer to me and going back to my parent's door.
As it got closer to me for the last 5 minutes, I sent a prayer to Jesus to Protect and shield me from harm and evil spirits. I said in my heart:"get out of this house RIGHT NOW, in Jesus Name, Amen" I repeated myself for 5 minutes and after that, the footsteps stopped and honestly, it might not be to you, but to me, That was what I called Jesus at His best, performing miracles and protecting me.
When I prayed, I felt so calm, my heart went from beating rapidly to slowing down. I felt at ease that nothing would harm me as long as I had Jesus by my side and in my heart.
Thank You Jesus, I Love You :) Ever since my first day at church when I was 8 and always will :)
Sunday 29 January 2012
Dreams WILL come true
Hey Guys :)
A few short 7 years ago, I actually decided what I wanted to be......I was 8. I would say I'm a bit more mature than other 8 Year old's back then. I realized things that the others didn't and I learned A LOT at that age, but I wasn't quite matured enough but I'd consider myself mature at that age, I was exposed to A LOT of different things and those things made me think that I should probably consider planning my future now.
So, I stuck to it.
Believe it or not, I still stuck to the same thing that I planned when I was 8. Which was becoming a successful surgeon.You can't say that many 8 year old decides what they wanted to be and stuck to it. But forget about that, this post is not about bragging.
I just want to get ONE point straight. FOLLOW YOUR INSTINCT!!! You don't know what you got till it's gone, right? I had a lot of opportunities when I was 9-13 years of age and I just let my cowardly self pass them. Although back then I thought it was a good idea to be a turtle and hide in my shell whenever a good opportunity pass by, I am starting to realize that you only get to live ONE life on earth, God didn't tell you to be a coward, He told you to be bold. I just dropped out of school and now I'm prepping myself to study medicine, I know that I'm still young but I decided to not let dreams just be dreams and work my butt off. Just WORK your butt off now, it pays off in the end. Yes, it took A LOT of convincing for my parents to FINALLY be at the same side as me. But I can't say that they'll be supportive 95% of the time. I realized by dropping out of school and pursuing my dreams, I have to sacrifice A LOT, like leaving friends, activities and all those kind of stuff, but I want to be who I want to be and that's myself and no one can change that.
JUST FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS!! :)
A few short 7 years ago, I actually decided what I wanted to be......I was 8. I would say I'm a bit more mature than other 8 Year old's back then. I realized things that the others didn't and I learned A LOT at that age, but I wasn't quite matured enough but I'd consider myself mature at that age, I was exposed to A LOT of different things and those things made me think that I should probably consider planning my future now.
So, I stuck to it.
Believe it or not, I still stuck to the same thing that I planned when I was 8. Which was becoming a successful surgeon.You can't say that many 8 year old decides what they wanted to be and stuck to it. But forget about that, this post is not about bragging.
I just want to get ONE point straight. FOLLOW YOUR INSTINCT!!! You don't know what you got till it's gone, right? I had a lot of opportunities when I was 9-13 years of age and I just let my cowardly self pass them. Although back then I thought it was a good idea to be a turtle and hide in my shell whenever a good opportunity pass by, I am starting to realize that you only get to live ONE life on earth, God didn't tell you to be a coward, He told you to be bold. I just dropped out of school and now I'm prepping myself to study medicine, I know that I'm still young but I decided to not let dreams just be dreams and work my butt off. Just WORK your butt off now, it pays off in the end. Yes, it took A LOT of convincing for my parents to FINALLY be at the same side as me. But I can't say that they'll be supportive 95% of the time. I realized by dropping out of school and pursuing my dreams, I have to sacrifice A LOT, like leaving friends, activities and all those kind of stuff, but I want to be who I want to be and that's myself and no one can change that.
JUST FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS!! :)
Listen
Take a breath
The unexpected might come biting into your flesh
Feel the morning breeze
Sleep at night feeling at ease
Always be alert
You'll never know when loved ones might get hurt
For I'm telling you from experience
I never had parents who listened
Cherish every living moment
For one life ends and comes a new infant
We don't know much
But live every moment,don't keep your opened door shut
I may be younger than you
But I understand much more than you do
Neglect is a form of cruelty
That's what I got since I was a baby
To all the parents out there
Keep your child safe and be aware
Robbers will come and steal
And they would not care how you feel
Find that ship,owned by God
Tell Him everything and climb on board
Although this poem is ending soon, my story will never end
It'll keep reaching out to one another as far as it can
Let's face it, we all need a helping hand
The unexpected might come biting into your flesh
Feel the morning breeze
Sleep at night feeling at ease
Always be alert
You'll never know when loved ones might get hurt
For I'm telling you from experience
I never had parents who listened
Cherish every living moment
For one life ends and comes a new infant
We don't know much
But live every moment,don't keep your opened door shut
I may be younger than you
But I understand much more than you do
Neglect is a form of cruelty
That's what I got since I was a baby
To all the parents out there
Keep your child safe and be aware
Robbers will come and steal
And they would not care how you feel
Find that ship,owned by God
Tell Him everything and climb on board
Although this poem is ending soon, my story will never end
It'll keep reaching out to one another as far as it can
Let's face it, we all need a helping hand
Tuesday 24 January 2012
T-shirts and freedom
What i see is my old t shirt
It is dirty I guess I must be more alert,
Never mind about the mess
How did it get there?dirt, you oughta confess
Why?
First of all, the t shirt's white
Second of all
I can't wear this now streaming down the hall
I planned to wear it to school,
And now i can't All because of a couple fools
What you got to get nagged?
All you need is your brain to be checked
Haters gonna hate
Gonna keep my faith
Tell yourself you're going fishing and using them as bait
You can't do nothing bout it
Just go to the park and find a place to sit
Make it to heaven
Find a microwave oven
And bake some cupcakes
Make that half a dozen
Why you gotta be so mad
Ending your life you know that's so sad
A million more things to do
Find a pack of gum and found one in your shoe
Yes this is a poem that I wrote
Isn't it Better than rowing your boat?
I just got ask to put lotion on my feet
Without using my hands and sitting on my seat
That was kinda random
But you know you wanna make it to stardom
Just talk to my man Jesus and He will give you your freedom
This poem is going to end soon
So take it from Frank Sinatra and fly me to the moon
If you don't, I'll force feed you a couple prunes
Record the sound and put it on iTunes
The end
It is dirty I guess I must be more alert,
Never mind about the mess
How did it get there?dirt, you oughta confess
Why?
First of all, the t shirt's white
Second of all
I can't wear this now streaming down the hall
I planned to wear it to school,
And now i can't All because of a couple fools
What you got to get nagged?
All you need is your brain to be checked
Haters gonna hate
Gonna keep my faith
Tell yourself you're going fishing and using them as bait
You can't do nothing bout it
Just go to the park and find a place to sit
Make it to heaven
Find a microwave oven
And bake some cupcakes
Make that half a dozen
Why you gotta be so mad
Ending your life you know that's so sad
A million more things to do
Find a pack of gum and found one in your shoe
Yes this is a poem that I wrote
Isn't it Better than rowing your boat?
I just got ask to put lotion on my feet
Without using my hands and sitting on my seat
That was kinda random
But you know you wanna make it to stardom
Just talk to my man Jesus and He will give you your freedom
This poem is going to end soon
So take it from Frank Sinatra and fly me to the moon
If you don't, I'll force feed you a couple prunes
Record the sound and put it on iTunes
The end
Saturday 21 January 2012
Games
This is a poem.
Downloading a game now,
feeling kinda left out,
'Cause I'm downloading this game,
I have nothing to do and feel so lame.
We could do a lot,
but we choose not to cause we're just so bored.
I like games,
but I also like paper cranes,
They just so cool,
Flapping their paper wings acting like a fool.
What happened to Uno or Monopoly?
The good ol' games that I have no one to play with, unfortunately.
Cause I'm flip Flip fly,
ain't got time to talk just hi and bye.
Oh yes, I just quoted Minaj,
But I also know someone called Henry Raj,
Yes, he is not real,
I just made it up, Cause that's what I feel.
Someone should have a name like that,
So when he or she look back,
They Be like OHHH OHHH
Yes that's my name,
OhhhOHHH
Yours too lame.
Well, what do you know?
My game won't load,
I'm in rage
Someone should lock me up in a water tight cage.
-Krystal
Downloading a game now,
feeling kinda left out,
'Cause I'm downloading this game,
I have nothing to do and feel so lame.
We could do a lot,
but we choose not to cause we're just so bored.
I like games,
but I also like paper cranes,
They just so cool,
Flapping their paper wings acting like a fool.
What happened to Uno or Monopoly?
The good ol' games that I have no one to play with, unfortunately.
Cause I'm flip Flip fly,
ain't got time to talk just hi and bye.
Oh yes, I just quoted Minaj,
But I also know someone called Henry Raj,
Yes, he is not real,
I just made it up, Cause that's what I feel.
Someone should have a name like that,
So when he or she look back,
They Be like OHHH OHHH
Yes that's my name,
OhhhOHHH
Yours too lame.
Well, what do you know?
My game won't load,
I'm in rage
Someone should lock me up in a water tight cage.
-Krystal
Friday 20 January 2012
Poem about Random
I got up late when I was suppose to get up at eight,
guess no one is perfect
when you think about it.
Well what do ya know,
I have ten toes.
Should you judge me or
judge who I'll be,
I'll send a prayer to God because that's the most powerful thing I've got. Chances are of me sleeping is just impossible since I'm typing.
My favorite game is jet pack joyride so you better know what I did with my life. Are you kidding
you haven't been eating?
Oh come on you know you beautiful, just say that, it worked for me too, how long was this thing I better stop right this instant,
because I'm getting of now to dream about Danny phantom
-Krystal
guess no one is perfect
when you think about it.
Well what do ya know,
I have ten toes.
Should you judge me or
judge who I'll be,
I'll send a prayer to God because that's the most powerful thing I've got. Chances are of me sleeping is just impossible since I'm typing.
My favorite game is jet pack joyride so you better know what I did with my life. Are you kidding
you haven't been eating?
Oh come on you know you beautiful, just say that, it worked for me too, how long was this thing I better stop right this instant,
because I'm getting of now to dream about Danny phantom
-Krystal
Wednesday 18 January 2012
I don't need anyone but God
I'm stressed out already about my studies...
My Exams are just getting closer to me each day and I am just terrified of how it will turn out.
Am I going to fail? Am I going to Pass or EVEN GET AN A? I am having insecurities about this every time my parents bug me about it. They just put a pile of stress on my desk and I haven't cleared it out yet.
I sometimes think That I have what it takes to be a smart girl, but then I went to school and get straight B's and C's and no A's. My parents are one of the reasons that I wanna prove to myself that I CAN do it. I remind myself every time that God gave me a life for a reason, and He has a plan for me. I just have to patient.
Then, there is the weight problem, You have no idea how MANY times people have called me FAT. Out of the few times I have been called Beautiful, I think :"Really, I'm Beautiful? People Call me fat, what do they see in me that hides all that thoughts that I am fat?" Only so little in my life has anyone called me fat, I mean, not even my own parents or family, for that matter, has called me beautiful. They all call me fat, like I don't acknowledge that I am slightly fatter than other normal 15 year olds.....I wish I just could DO something about it, whenever I wanna go exercise, I'm always stopped, like I'm not allowed to go to the gym, I'm too young, I can't go for a jog without you because it's too dangerous....I don't even know how to dodge all these obstacles....
My entire family, I am probably the only kid, like in my WHOLE family, they always think that I'm most likely to be the one ending up poor, fat and with no job...WHAT am I suppose to do about it?? My mind is blank every time i think about this, I have sleepless nights just THINKING about What to do. I know God loves me, and I don't need to hear anymore from the people who call me FAT. Only God can judge me.
-Krystal
My Exams are just getting closer to me each day and I am just terrified of how it will turn out.
Am I going to fail? Am I going to Pass or EVEN GET AN A? I am having insecurities about this every time my parents bug me about it. They just put a pile of stress on my desk and I haven't cleared it out yet.
I sometimes think That I have what it takes to be a smart girl, but then I went to school and get straight B's and C's and no A's. My parents are one of the reasons that I wanna prove to myself that I CAN do it. I remind myself every time that God gave me a life for a reason, and He has a plan for me. I just have to patient.
Then, there is the weight problem, You have no idea how MANY times people have called me FAT. Out of the few times I have been called Beautiful, I think :"Really, I'm Beautiful? People Call me fat, what do they see in me that hides all that thoughts that I am fat?" Only so little in my life has anyone called me fat, I mean, not even my own parents or family, for that matter, has called me beautiful. They all call me fat, like I don't acknowledge that I am slightly fatter than other normal 15 year olds.....I wish I just could DO something about it, whenever I wanna go exercise, I'm always stopped, like I'm not allowed to go to the gym, I'm too young, I can't go for a jog without you because it's too dangerous....I don't even know how to dodge all these obstacles....
My entire family, I am probably the only kid, like in my WHOLE family, they always think that I'm most likely to be the one ending up poor, fat and with no job...WHAT am I suppose to do about it?? My mind is blank every time i think about this, I have sleepless nights just THINKING about What to do. I know God loves me, and I don't need to hear anymore from the people who call me FAT. Only God can judge me.
-Krystal
MY HYPER POEM!
Hey, it's me
I doubt that's who you wanna be.
Just be yourself,
that annoys everyone else,
but hey spongebob does that,
and he's feeling so happy that it's just so rad.
Now c'mon,
don't be sad,
you'll be the one,
that won't look back.
Hey now, this poem seems to rhyme,
but I put a sock in your shoe, and a mouth in your lime,
wait I meant to say a lime in your mouth,
oh my gosh, what am I talking about?
I guess this be the end of my poem,
So take my advice, and you better show em
who you are,
Gotta be you, don't wish on that shooting star.
So TA TA For now,
I'm outta words and I can't see how
-Krystal
I doubt that's who you wanna be.
Just be yourself,
that annoys everyone else,
but hey spongebob does that,
and he's feeling so happy that it's just so rad.
Now c'mon,
don't be sad,
you'll be the one,
that won't look back.
Hey now, this poem seems to rhyme,
but I put a sock in your shoe, and a mouth in your lime,
wait I meant to say a lime in your mouth,
oh my gosh, what am I talking about?
I guess this be the end of my poem,
So take my advice, and you better show em
who you are,
Gotta be you, don't wish on that shooting star.
So TA TA For now,
I'm outta words and I can't see how
-Krystal
GAH!!
HAHAHHAHA I AM SO HYPER RIGHT NOW!!!!!
I decided maybe, I should right something that rhymes, what do they call it?
POEMS!! YAY BECAUSE I'm HYPER LIDDAT!!!
I decided maybe, I should right something that rhymes, what do they call it?
POEMS!! YAY BECAUSE I'm HYPER LIDDAT!!!
Tuesday 17 January 2012
Hello and other stuff
Hi :) It is I, Krystal Ng.
Guess what? I am so excited to turn 15 this year, even though it's like in April but I CANNOT WAIT!! I don't know what to expect on that day, but I remember that, the worst birthdays I ever had was when I was 13 and 14. On My 13th birthday, My family torn apart, the relationship we built from all the years just went CRASH. But things always worked out in the end, and on my 14th Birthday, I was Sick and cannot remember a single thing that I did on that day :P
Enough about my birthday :P I am completely stressed about what I'm going to grow up as. Am I going to be a doctor? An Actor? Or a Singer maybe? I sing really bad :/ Don't believe me? Go watch it here:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kxUIOyJDn6M&feature=g-upl&context=G23e27a7AUAAAAAAAAAA
hahah Ok :P It's really late like 12:57AM right now, and I do not want to sleep but my sleeping schedule is just messed up this year. I WANT MY OWN ROOM. Nope I do not have my own room, I sleep in the living room. There IS a spare room that I can use, but it is dirty, wrecked, and there is too much junk in there, and I'm just sitting here, waiting for my dad to call a contractor so that i can have a real room already.
I love chocolate!! :P
-Krystal
Guess what? I am so excited to turn 15 this year, even though it's like in April but I CANNOT WAIT!! I don't know what to expect on that day, but I remember that, the worst birthdays I ever had was when I was 13 and 14. On My 13th birthday, My family torn apart, the relationship we built from all the years just went CRASH. But things always worked out in the end, and on my 14th Birthday, I was Sick and cannot remember a single thing that I did on that day :P
Enough about my birthday :P I am completely stressed about what I'm going to grow up as. Am I going to be a doctor? An Actor? Or a Singer maybe? I sing really bad :/ Don't believe me? Go watch it here:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kxUIOyJDn6M&feature=g-upl&context=G23e27a7AUAAAAAAAAAA
hahah Ok :P It's really late like 12:57AM right now, and I do not want to sleep but my sleeping schedule is just messed up this year. I WANT MY OWN ROOM. Nope I do not have my own room, I sleep in the living room. There IS a spare room that I can use, but it is dirty, wrecked, and there is too much junk in there, and I'm just sitting here, waiting for my dad to call a contractor so that i can have a real room already.
I love chocolate!! :P
-Krystal
Friday 13 January 2012
Feeling Annoying
Hey Guys :) Have you ever felt like you're super annoying? Do you feel like you're the last person that people want to talk to? Like people hate you because he or she read your previous blog?(tsk)
Well I gone through all of the above before. It's not the people who affect what you think, it's your self conscious. You! Don't care what people think of you, you shouldn't give your attention to anyone who doesn't deserve it. Pray to God about your insecurities, it always work its way out :) yes, I still have a lot to learn about, and i'm still growing spiritually, I may not be mature enough to tell you what to do, but God does and he knows everything about you, it might sound creepy at first, but it sounds kinda safe, don't ya think? That HE knows everything and HE knows YOU! I wished I knew HIM earlier but I only knew about him when I was 9 or 10 when I went to church with my cousins. Church was the happiest place I ever went to, that time. I always felt held back, that I couldn't accept Christ without my parents permission, and who knew that a year later, my mom started to know HIM too, I felt at ease when I found out, but it still boggles my mind when she didn't tell me about it until I found her Bible. At that moment when I found it, I knew that HE would make things work out in the end. I BELIEVED in HIM very strongly when I was younger, I don't know what happened but as I got older, I drifted away from HIM, I feel really bad, HE sent HIS son to die for our sins, and I'm just here feeling like I shouldn't be alive. I'm starting to realize that not everything is about me, there's other people that need help way much more than I do. I felt like a selfish spoiled brat. I guess I found out the hard way about it, I gone through a very difficult phase in '10 and '11, I drifted away and HE tried to get closer, but I kept pushing, and pushing. I pushed Him away so hard that, I thought it was the end of my humanity. This year, I can honestly say I'm getting a head start and I prayed to HIM yesterday and it felt pretty soothing knowing that His listening. So I try not to be insecure about myself, and I learnt that I cannot control my faith, you know what they say, if it's meant to be, it will be. That is true, GOD controls our faith and He makes it all happen. If you ever asked Him "why me? God do you hate me, why'd you make this happen to me?" well He makes mistakes for you, so that YOU can learn from them. Grow stronger with Him. Grow happy with HIM. Build a relationship with HIM. :)
-Krystal
Well I gone through all of the above before. It's not the people who affect what you think, it's your self conscious. You! Don't care what people think of you, you shouldn't give your attention to anyone who doesn't deserve it. Pray to God about your insecurities, it always work its way out :) yes, I still have a lot to learn about, and i'm still growing spiritually, I may not be mature enough to tell you what to do, but God does and he knows everything about you, it might sound creepy at first, but it sounds kinda safe, don't ya think? That HE knows everything and HE knows YOU! I wished I knew HIM earlier but I only knew about him when I was 9 or 10 when I went to church with my cousins. Church was the happiest place I ever went to, that time. I always felt held back, that I couldn't accept Christ without my parents permission, and who knew that a year later, my mom started to know HIM too, I felt at ease when I found out, but it still boggles my mind when she didn't tell me about it until I found her Bible. At that moment when I found it, I knew that HE would make things work out in the end. I BELIEVED in HIM very strongly when I was younger, I don't know what happened but as I got older, I drifted away from HIM, I feel really bad, HE sent HIS son to die for our sins, and I'm just here feeling like I shouldn't be alive. I'm starting to realize that not everything is about me, there's other people that need help way much more than I do. I felt like a selfish spoiled brat. I guess I found out the hard way about it, I gone through a very difficult phase in '10 and '11, I drifted away and HE tried to get closer, but I kept pushing, and pushing. I pushed Him away so hard that, I thought it was the end of my humanity. This year, I can honestly say I'm getting a head start and I prayed to HIM yesterday and it felt pretty soothing knowing that His listening. So I try not to be insecure about myself, and I learnt that I cannot control my faith, you know what they say, if it's meant to be, it will be. That is true, GOD controls our faith and He makes it all happen. If you ever asked Him "why me? God do you hate me, why'd you make this happen to me?" well He makes mistakes for you, so that YOU can learn from them. Grow stronger with Him. Grow happy with HIM. Build a relationship with HIM. :)
-Krystal
The Reason Why I Made A New Blog
Hi :)
I used to have a blog called cereal junk life, and I misused it in a whole lot of different ways you cannot imagine.
I spoke my heart out, I am ashamed to say this but that blog had a lot profanity in it, (I'm SERIOUSLY ashamed of myself for cussing) and I was getting carried away with my anger. It was a battle between my humanity and my anger and it seemed like my anger was overpowering me.
So, Now, January 14, 2012 I decided to grow up and take control of my actions.
I am not shy to say that my previous blog had some good points about judgmental people but I just couldn't help myself to close it down because of the profanity, yes, you can say how annoying I am that I am repeating the Profanity thing a lot but I want to get it across to you guys that Swearing and Rebelling don't do Nada.
On my previous blog not only profanity was found inside, disrespect was found too. I disrespected myself, I invaded my parent's privacy and leaked it online. I confessed a lot of stuff in there and I guess I was done, I confessed everything I did wrong there. But I made a vital mistake, I confessed to a useless blog instead of confessing it to God.
It's a new year and a lot has happened for me, since the end of the year last year. I figured out, I didn't need friends that aren't real, I don't really need that much friends, now that was settled a long time ago. I made up my mind that I need friends that love my awkwardness, understands my pain, and can sort of read my mind :P I need friends who would be right there for me when they rather be somewhere else, it's not that easy for me to find people like that, and it's all because I'm shy and when i talk to someone, my brain decides to freeze up and not tell me what to say.
I'm a type of girl that no everyone can understand. I mean seriously I only have like the most, 3 people that could actually understand and get me. Not even my parents could understand me, because they are too caught up with understanding each other. (that's all there is about my parents).
The other reason why I closed down my blog and made this one, is because, I decided, hey I'm gonna turn 15 this year, and I just really don't want anyone to judge me by my past, that's one of the reasons why I made my previous blog, to get things straight, so I was done with that.
However, the content of my previous blog will still continue along with this blog, I never regretted saying to all those insecure and depressed people that they are beautiful and God knows it, You're BEAUTIFUL and HE knows it. I'm saying this to you because I never want anyone to feel the way I did at just such a young age. NEVER GIVE UP on LIFE and ESPECIALLY NOT ON GOD, He LOVES you every second, every minute, every hour, every day, every month and every year. Don't forget what you got.
I took the time last year as the time for my mistakes and now in this new year, I feel a whole lot better and like a ton of weight just lifted off my chest. So, If anyone out there reads this, learn from your mistakes, don't let it conquer you and make you do all sorts of weird things that I did. Take it from someone who experienced this in the past, learn from it and be happy in life.
-Krystal :)
I used to have a blog called cereal junk life, and I misused it in a whole lot of different ways you cannot imagine.
I spoke my heart out, I am ashamed to say this but that blog had a lot profanity in it, (I'm SERIOUSLY ashamed of myself for cussing) and I was getting carried away with my anger. It was a battle between my humanity and my anger and it seemed like my anger was overpowering me.
So, Now, January 14, 2012 I decided to grow up and take control of my actions.
I am not shy to say that my previous blog had some good points about judgmental people but I just couldn't help myself to close it down because of the profanity, yes, you can say how annoying I am that I am repeating the Profanity thing a lot but I want to get it across to you guys that Swearing and Rebelling don't do Nada.
On my previous blog not only profanity was found inside, disrespect was found too. I disrespected myself, I invaded my parent's privacy and leaked it online. I confessed a lot of stuff in there and I guess I was done, I confessed everything I did wrong there. But I made a vital mistake, I confessed to a useless blog instead of confessing it to God.
It's a new year and a lot has happened for me, since the end of the year last year. I figured out, I didn't need friends that aren't real, I don't really need that much friends, now that was settled a long time ago. I made up my mind that I need friends that love my awkwardness, understands my pain, and can sort of read my mind :P I need friends who would be right there for me when they rather be somewhere else, it's not that easy for me to find people like that, and it's all because I'm shy and when i talk to someone, my brain decides to freeze up and not tell me what to say.
I'm a type of girl that no everyone can understand. I mean seriously I only have like the most, 3 people that could actually understand and get me. Not even my parents could understand me, because they are too caught up with understanding each other. (that's all there is about my parents).
The other reason why I closed down my blog and made this one, is because, I decided, hey I'm gonna turn 15 this year, and I just really don't want anyone to judge me by my past, that's one of the reasons why I made my previous blog, to get things straight, so I was done with that.
However, the content of my previous blog will still continue along with this blog, I never regretted saying to all those insecure and depressed people that they are beautiful and God knows it, You're BEAUTIFUL and HE knows it. I'm saying this to you because I never want anyone to feel the way I did at just such a young age. NEVER GIVE UP on LIFE and ESPECIALLY NOT ON GOD, He LOVES you every second, every minute, every hour, every day, every month and every year. Don't forget what you got.
I took the time last year as the time for my mistakes and now in this new year, I feel a whole lot better and like a ton of weight just lifted off my chest. So, If anyone out there reads this, learn from your mistakes, don't let it conquer you and make you do all sorts of weird things that I did. Take it from someone who experienced this in the past, learn from it and be happy in life.
-Krystal :)
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