I'm stressed out already about my studies...
My Exams are just getting closer to me each day and I am just terrified of how it will turn out.
Am I going to fail? Am I going to Pass or EVEN GET AN A? I am having insecurities about this every time my parents bug me about it. They just put a pile of stress on my desk and I haven't cleared it out yet.
I sometimes think That I have what it takes to be a smart girl, but then I went to school and get straight B's and C's and no A's. My parents are one of the reasons that I wanna prove to myself that I CAN do it. I remind myself every time that God gave me a life for a reason, and He has a plan for me. I just have to patient.
Then, there is the weight problem, You have no idea how MANY times people have called me FAT. Out of the few times I have been called Beautiful, I think :"Really, I'm Beautiful? People Call me fat, what do they see in me that hides all that thoughts that I am fat?" Only so little in my life has anyone called me fat, I mean, not even my own parents or family, for that matter, has called me beautiful. They all call me fat, like I don't acknowledge that I am slightly fatter than other normal 15 year olds.....I wish I just could DO something about it, whenever I wanna go exercise, I'm always stopped, like I'm not allowed to go to the gym, I'm too young, I can't go for a jog without you because it's too dangerous....I don't even know how to dodge all these obstacles....
My entire family, I am probably the only kid, like in my WHOLE family, they always think that I'm most likely to be the one ending up poor, fat and with no job...WHAT am I suppose to do about it?? My mind is blank every time i think about this, I have sleepless nights just THINKING about What to do. I know God loves me, and I don't need to hear anymore from the people who call me FAT. Only God can judge me.
-Krystal
Wednesday, 18 January 2012
MY HYPER POEM!
Hey, it's me
I doubt that's who you wanna be.
Just be yourself,
that annoys everyone else,
but hey spongebob does that,
and he's feeling so happy that it's just so rad.
Now c'mon,
don't be sad,
you'll be the one,
that won't look back.
Hey now, this poem seems to rhyme,
but I put a sock in your shoe, and a mouth in your lime,
wait I meant to say a lime in your mouth,
oh my gosh, what am I talking about?
I guess this be the end of my poem,
So take my advice, and you better show em
who you are,
Gotta be you, don't wish on that shooting star.
So TA TA For now,
I'm outta words and I can't see how
-Krystal
I doubt that's who you wanna be.
Just be yourself,
that annoys everyone else,
but hey spongebob does that,
and he's feeling so happy that it's just so rad.
Now c'mon,
don't be sad,
you'll be the one,
that won't look back.
Hey now, this poem seems to rhyme,
but I put a sock in your shoe, and a mouth in your lime,
wait I meant to say a lime in your mouth,
oh my gosh, what am I talking about?
I guess this be the end of my poem,
So take my advice, and you better show em
who you are,
Gotta be you, don't wish on that shooting star.
So TA TA For now,
I'm outta words and I can't see how
-Krystal
GAH!!
HAHAHHAHA I AM SO HYPER RIGHT NOW!!!!!
I decided maybe, I should right something that rhymes, what do they call it?
POEMS!! YAY BECAUSE I'm HYPER LIDDAT!!!
I decided maybe, I should right something that rhymes, what do they call it?
POEMS!! YAY BECAUSE I'm HYPER LIDDAT!!!
Tuesday, 17 January 2012
Hello and other stuff
Hi :) It is I, Krystal Ng.
Guess what? I am so excited to turn 15 this year, even though it's like in April but I CANNOT WAIT!! I don't know what to expect on that day, but I remember that, the worst birthdays I ever had was when I was 13 and 14. On My 13th birthday, My family torn apart, the relationship we built from all the years just went CRASH. But things always worked out in the end, and on my 14th Birthday, I was Sick and cannot remember a single thing that I did on that day :P
Enough about my birthday :P I am completely stressed about what I'm going to grow up as. Am I going to be a doctor? An Actor? Or a Singer maybe? I sing really bad :/ Don't believe me? Go watch it here:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kxUIOyJDn6M&feature=g-upl&context=G23e27a7AUAAAAAAAAAA
hahah Ok :P It's really late like 12:57AM right now, and I do not want to sleep but my sleeping schedule is just messed up this year. I WANT MY OWN ROOM. Nope I do not have my own room, I sleep in the living room. There IS a spare room that I can use, but it is dirty, wrecked, and there is too much junk in there, and I'm just sitting here, waiting for my dad to call a contractor so that i can have a real room already.
I love chocolate!! :P
-Krystal
Guess what? I am so excited to turn 15 this year, even though it's like in April but I CANNOT WAIT!! I don't know what to expect on that day, but I remember that, the worst birthdays I ever had was when I was 13 and 14. On My 13th birthday, My family torn apart, the relationship we built from all the years just went CRASH. But things always worked out in the end, and on my 14th Birthday, I was Sick and cannot remember a single thing that I did on that day :P
Enough about my birthday :P I am completely stressed about what I'm going to grow up as. Am I going to be a doctor? An Actor? Or a Singer maybe? I sing really bad :/ Don't believe me? Go watch it here:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kxUIOyJDn6M&feature=g-upl&context=G23e27a7AUAAAAAAAAAA
hahah Ok :P It's really late like 12:57AM right now, and I do not want to sleep but my sleeping schedule is just messed up this year. I WANT MY OWN ROOM. Nope I do not have my own room, I sleep in the living room. There IS a spare room that I can use, but it is dirty, wrecked, and there is too much junk in there, and I'm just sitting here, waiting for my dad to call a contractor so that i can have a real room already.
I love chocolate!! :P
-Krystal
Friday, 13 January 2012
Feeling Annoying
Hey Guys :) Have you ever felt like you're super annoying? Do you feel like you're the last person that people want to talk to? Like people hate you because he or she read your previous blog?(tsk)
Well I gone through all of the above before. It's not the people who affect what you think, it's your self conscious. You! Don't care what people think of you, you shouldn't give your attention to anyone who doesn't deserve it. Pray to God about your insecurities, it always work its way out :) yes, I still have a lot to learn about, and i'm still growing spiritually, I may not be mature enough to tell you what to do, but God does and he knows everything about you, it might sound creepy at first, but it sounds kinda safe, don't ya think? That HE knows everything and HE knows YOU! I wished I knew HIM earlier but I only knew about him when I was 9 or 10 when I went to church with my cousins. Church was the happiest place I ever went to, that time. I always felt held back, that I couldn't accept Christ without my parents permission, and who knew that a year later, my mom started to know HIM too, I felt at ease when I found out, but it still boggles my mind when she didn't tell me about it until I found her Bible. At that moment when I found it, I knew that HE would make things work out in the end. I BELIEVED in HIM very strongly when I was younger, I don't know what happened but as I got older, I drifted away from HIM, I feel really bad, HE sent HIS son to die for our sins, and I'm just here feeling like I shouldn't be alive. I'm starting to realize that not everything is about me, there's other people that need help way much more than I do. I felt like a selfish spoiled brat. I guess I found out the hard way about it, I gone through a very difficult phase in '10 and '11, I drifted away and HE tried to get closer, but I kept pushing, and pushing. I pushed Him away so hard that, I thought it was the end of my humanity. This year, I can honestly say I'm getting a head start and I prayed to HIM yesterday and it felt pretty soothing knowing that His listening. So I try not to be insecure about myself, and I learnt that I cannot control my faith, you know what they say, if it's meant to be, it will be. That is true, GOD controls our faith and He makes it all happen. If you ever asked Him "why me? God do you hate me, why'd you make this happen to me?" well He makes mistakes for you, so that YOU can learn from them. Grow stronger with Him. Grow happy with HIM. Build a relationship with HIM. :)
-Krystal
Well I gone through all of the above before. It's not the people who affect what you think, it's your self conscious. You! Don't care what people think of you, you shouldn't give your attention to anyone who doesn't deserve it. Pray to God about your insecurities, it always work its way out :) yes, I still have a lot to learn about, and i'm still growing spiritually, I may not be mature enough to tell you what to do, but God does and he knows everything about you, it might sound creepy at first, but it sounds kinda safe, don't ya think? That HE knows everything and HE knows YOU! I wished I knew HIM earlier but I only knew about him when I was 9 or 10 when I went to church with my cousins. Church was the happiest place I ever went to, that time. I always felt held back, that I couldn't accept Christ without my parents permission, and who knew that a year later, my mom started to know HIM too, I felt at ease when I found out, but it still boggles my mind when she didn't tell me about it until I found her Bible. At that moment when I found it, I knew that HE would make things work out in the end. I BELIEVED in HIM very strongly when I was younger, I don't know what happened but as I got older, I drifted away from HIM, I feel really bad, HE sent HIS son to die for our sins, and I'm just here feeling like I shouldn't be alive. I'm starting to realize that not everything is about me, there's other people that need help way much more than I do. I felt like a selfish spoiled brat. I guess I found out the hard way about it, I gone through a very difficult phase in '10 and '11, I drifted away and HE tried to get closer, but I kept pushing, and pushing. I pushed Him away so hard that, I thought it was the end of my humanity. This year, I can honestly say I'm getting a head start and I prayed to HIM yesterday and it felt pretty soothing knowing that His listening. So I try not to be insecure about myself, and I learnt that I cannot control my faith, you know what they say, if it's meant to be, it will be. That is true, GOD controls our faith and He makes it all happen. If you ever asked Him "why me? God do you hate me, why'd you make this happen to me?" well He makes mistakes for you, so that YOU can learn from them. Grow stronger with Him. Grow happy with HIM. Build a relationship with HIM. :)
-Krystal
The Reason Why I Made A New Blog
Hi :)
I used to have a blog called cereal junk life, and I misused it in a whole lot of different ways you cannot imagine.
I spoke my heart out, I am ashamed to say this but that blog had a lot profanity in it, (I'm SERIOUSLY ashamed of myself for cussing) and I was getting carried away with my anger. It was a battle between my humanity and my anger and it seemed like my anger was overpowering me.
So, Now, January 14, 2012 I decided to grow up and take control of my actions.
I am not shy to say that my previous blog had some good points about judgmental people but I just couldn't help myself to close it down because of the profanity, yes, you can say how annoying I am that I am repeating the Profanity thing a lot but I want to get it across to you guys that Swearing and Rebelling don't do Nada.
On my previous blog not only profanity was found inside, disrespect was found too. I disrespected myself, I invaded my parent's privacy and leaked it online. I confessed a lot of stuff in there and I guess I was done, I confessed everything I did wrong there. But I made a vital mistake, I confessed to a useless blog instead of confessing it to God.
It's a new year and a lot has happened for me, since the end of the year last year. I figured out, I didn't need friends that aren't real, I don't really need that much friends, now that was settled a long time ago. I made up my mind that I need friends that love my awkwardness, understands my pain, and can sort of read my mind :P I need friends who would be right there for me when they rather be somewhere else, it's not that easy for me to find people like that, and it's all because I'm shy and when i talk to someone, my brain decides to freeze up and not tell me what to say.
I'm a type of girl that no everyone can understand. I mean seriously I only have like the most, 3 people that could actually understand and get me. Not even my parents could understand me, because they are too caught up with understanding each other. (that's all there is about my parents).
The other reason why I closed down my blog and made this one, is because, I decided, hey I'm gonna turn 15 this year, and I just really don't want anyone to judge me by my past, that's one of the reasons why I made my previous blog, to get things straight, so I was done with that.
However, the content of my previous blog will still continue along with this blog, I never regretted saying to all those insecure and depressed people that they are beautiful and God knows it, You're BEAUTIFUL and HE knows it. I'm saying this to you because I never want anyone to feel the way I did at just such a young age. NEVER GIVE UP on LIFE and ESPECIALLY NOT ON GOD, He LOVES you every second, every minute, every hour, every day, every month and every year. Don't forget what you got.
I took the time last year as the time for my mistakes and now in this new year, I feel a whole lot better and like a ton of weight just lifted off my chest. So, If anyone out there reads this, learn from your mistakes, don't let it conquer you and make you do all sorts of weird things that I did. Take it from someone who experienced this in the past, learn from it and be happy in life.
-Krystal :)
I used to have a blog called cereal junk life, and I misused it in a whole lot of different ways you cannot imagine.
I spoke my heart out, I am ashamed to say this but that blog had a lot profanity in it, (I'm SERIOUSLY ashamed of myself for cussing) and I was getting carried away with my anger. It was a battle between my humanity and my anger and it seemed like my anger was overpowering me.
So, Now, January 14, 2012 I decided to grow up and take control of my actions.
I am not shy to say that my previous blog had some good points about judgmental people but I just couldn't help myself to close it down because of the profanity, yes, you can say how annoying I am that I am repeating the Profanity thing a lot but I want to get it across to you guys that Swearing and Rebelling don't do Nada.
On my previous blog not only profanity was found inside, disrespect was found too. I disrespected myself, I invaded my parent's privacy and leaked it online. I confessed a lot of stuff in there and I guess I was done, I confessed everything I did wrong there. But I made a vital mistake, I confessed to a useless blog instead of confessing it to God.
It's a new year and a lot has happened for me, since the end of the year last year. I figured out, I didn't need friends that aren't real, I don't really need that much friends, now that was settled a long time ago. I made up my mind that I need friends that love my awkwardness, understands my pain, and can sort of read my mind :P I need friends who would be right there for me when they rather be somewhere else, it's not that easy for me to find people like that, and it's all because I'm shy and when i talk to someone, my brain decides to freeze up and not tell me what to say.
I'm a type of girl that no everyone can understand. I mean seriously I only have like the most, 3 people that could actually understand and get me. Not even my parents could understand me, because they are too caught up with understanding each other. (that's all there is about my parents).
The other reason why I closed down my blog and made this one, is because, I decided, hey I'm gonna turn 15 this year, and I just really don't want anyone to judge me by my past, that's one of the reasons why I made my previous blog, to get things straight, so I was done with that.
However, the content of my previous blog will still continue along with this blog, I never regretted saying to all those insecure and depressed people that they are beautiful and God knows it, You're BEAUTIFUL and HE knows it. I'm saying this to you because I never want anyone to feel the way I did at just such a young age. NEVER GIVE UP on LIFE and ESPECIALLY NOT ON GOD, He LOVES you every second, every minute, every hour, every day, every month and every year. Don't forget what you got.
I took the time last year as the time for my mistakes and now in this new year, I feel a whole lot better and like a ton of weight just lifted off my chest. So, If anyone out there reads this, learn from your mistakes, don't let it conquer you and make you do all sorts of weird things that I did. Take it from someone who experienced this in the past, learn from it and be happy in life.
-Krystal :)
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